i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
