Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
