U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
