I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
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