I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
