I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
