I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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