I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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