There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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