the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
