just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
