Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I fill condoms, not promises.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
