i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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