i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
