I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
