Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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