Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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