Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
