i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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