:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
