I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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