Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
