Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
