Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
