gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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