That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm like, not good at living.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
