More tranny stories later!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
