I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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