in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
