And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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