yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
