ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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