I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
