Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
