Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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