You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
