if only i could text you this smell
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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