Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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