totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize