I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
