And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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