one two three fourrrrnication!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
