I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
