im holly from the hills drunk
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
