We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
