I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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