When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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