im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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