Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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