I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
