you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
