I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
