Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
