you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
