At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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