Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
