I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
