He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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