i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
